


baby i got your number and i know that you got mine

by ofself



Category: The Avengers (2012), Thor (2011)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Office, Clint and Steve are bros, F/M, clint is the man with a plan, he really sucks at wooing people though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-20
Updated: 2012-08-20
Packaged: 2017-11-12 13:13:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/491417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ofself/pseuds/ofself
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint Barton thinks he knows how exactly to woo a girl like Darcy Lewis. Captain America keeps letting him know he dosen't. Darcy meanwhile, has her own plans.Office! AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	baby i got your number and i know that you got mine

**Author's Note:**

> I took part in the au_bigbang over at LJ. End result was a mini-bang about an OTP I LOVE but dont know how to write about. I GAVE IT MY BEST THO. Also, please to be checking out the art and mix that was made for this fic by dwg@lj. :)

[Link for art and mix by the fantastic dwg!](http://dwg.livejournal.com/1293818.html)

;

 

“This is your idea of wooing her?”

Steve is usually the politest of guys, come what may be the situation but even someone as thick-skinned as Clint can tell when Captain America or rather Steve Rogers is eyeing him with a look filled with extreme skepticism.

“Is there a better plan?”

“How ‘bout asking her out on a date, or buying her flowers like I suggested?” Steve looks faintly offended that Clint is not sold on his gentlemanly wooing ideas.

“I’m not a flowers and date kind of guy,” Clint hedges, making quick work of messing up Darcy’s desk and hiding small clues in-between. They are small post-it’s on which he’s printed song lyrics from some of his favourite love songs. He’s not a complete idiot either.  He may not be Captain America but he does pretty okay as Clint Barton/Hawkeye.

Steve looks dubious.

Clint finishes up what he’s doing and ushers Steve out of the room.

And I don’t think she’s a flowers and date kind of girl either.”

“I don’t think she’s the kind of girl who appreciates having her desk messed up either.”

As Clint speeds Steve along the corridor, his voice drops to a hushed whisper.

“I mean, she’s Phil’s assistant. And she _always_ _knows_ _more_ than him.”

“I know. I think she just might be the girl of my dreams.”

Clint sighs happily.

He’s only nursed a torch for the spirited Darcy Lewis for the better part of a year now.

She first came to S.H.I.E.L.D as the only intern who had applied to Dr. Foster’s internship programme. Darcy had needed a few credits to graduate and Dr. Foster needed an intern so that University Grants Commission wouldn’t stop the grants that were needed to fund her research work concerning the Einstein-Rosen bridge or rip in the time space continuum or whatever it is that she did. Clint’s little hazy on the details.

Needless to say it wasn’t the best of relationships. Dr. Foster required an intern who actually knew what an atom’s mass amounted too and Darcy while willing to work and certainly not lacking in the intelligence department couldn’t be bothered to dredge up what little high school Physics she remembered. Relations from then on it’s self were strained. Darcy couldn’t understand Dr. Foster’s need to go crazy over a whiteboard hashing out equations, 24/7 while Dr. Foster couldn’t understand the need for Darcy to have music blaring as she collated data she didn’t understand. But despite all this fractiousness, both of them preserved through the semester, because certain needs were the devil and even formed some sort of a grudging friendship based on a mutual love for Pop Tarts and Hot Pockets. When the semester was done, and credits and grants were awarded on either side, both of them bid each other goodbye with poorly disguised relief.

Unfortunately, S.H.I.E.L.D couldn’t let go of Darcy Lewis just as yet. Working with Dr. Foster had required S.H.I.E.L.D giving her a certain amount of clearance. They hadn’t been too happy about letting a complete civilian in. But then again, they didn’t have agents to spare and Dr. Foster wouldn’t hear of an agent acting as an intern so that was that and Darcy filled the position. And because Darcy had amassed a certain amount of clearance, S.H.I.E.L.D couldn’t just let her go without there being a hundred one clauses and waivers signed, some denying the existence of everything even remotely connected to S.H.E.I.L.D. While they figured out how best to tackle the situation, Darcy drifted around the office aimlessly for bit before she ran into Phil Coulson. One thing led to another and a few days later, word spread around the water filter that Phil Coulson had a new assistant and it was the girl who used to sing aloud tunelessly in Dr. Foster’s labs.  And so it turned out that Coulson and Darcy had been a far better fit than Dr. Foster and Darcy because as Phil Coulson’s assistant Darcy Lewis was scarily efficient at getting work done. And in general, getting things done. Or getting people to do them.

Even _more_ so than Coulson.

Most of the office tended to regard her with some amount of awe and amusement. There had been only one person other than Coulson who had gone toe to toe with Fury and lived to tell the tale. Darcy Lewis was it. And they had gone toe to toe over coffee of all things. You didn’t take the last of the coffee without re-filling. Fury did. Darcy went up in arms. Words were exchanged. Subtle and mostly vague incomprehensible threats were made on either side. In the end, Coulson brokered a peace agreement. Leaving an empty filter was not okay. However, if there were time crunches and fresh coffee could not be made, a note would be left. Grudging admissions of acceptance were taken from both parties. However this also established that there was a new badass in town.

That moment, when Clint had seen her face off with Fury, with neither of them backing down even an inch, his heart sort of slid out of the cavity in his chest and deposited it’s self humbly at Darcy’s lace-up boot clad feet.

But other than not only being amazing and badass, and the queen of Clint’s heart was Darcy was nice. She had no hang-ups, spoke to anyone and everyone and was cheerful as anyone could be without being on happy pills. She took everything with a pinch of salt and treated all the Avengers just as if they were normal people, with a little bit of pumped up action hormones on the side. Most importantly, Darcy Lewis was refreshingly and just enough on this side of the crazy scale to make her come across as endearing.

And maybe going toe to toe with Fury was the stupidest thing anyone had ever done cause you don’t EVER do that, even Clint with his mostly blatant disregard for rules doesn’t do that but there is something admirable about that kind of foolhardy stupidity/bravery that makes Clint’s heart sing.

“I do not understand why you have this fascination for women, who uh…” Steve fishes around for the right words before completing, “are dangerous to your health.”

What he actually means is cut off your balls because that is exactly the kind of thing Darcy will do if she feels you have wronged her.

“Not that Darcy isn’t a good person,” he adds conscientiously. “She’s a very good person.”

“I like her a lot.” Clint can’t blame Steve for sounding bemused when he admits that. “I can never understand her sense of humour though. I don’t know when she’s being serious and when she’s not.”

Darcy does that to you. She’s a ninja. You come to like her without even knowing how you came to like her in the first place. She just sneaks up on you. Metaphorically of course. Physically, Darcy is loud and clumsy as they come and unashamed and unapologetic about it.

Clint’s with him on the humour bit though. He’s from this century and even he doesn’t get most of Darcy’s pop culture references.

“I just don’t think she’s the kind of person who appreciates having her desk all worried.”

“You _stop_ worrying Steve. Once Darcy finds those notes, everything will fall into place.”

“For the sake of your health, I hope so.” Steve tells him kindly as they head into the cafeteria. Clint’s mind automatically replaces the word health with balls. Steve may be all manners but hell, Clint’s got no illusions as to what will happen should anything go wrong.

But good things don’t come by easily. And man’s got to go down fighting if nothing else.

;

Clint and Steve somehow situate themselves in the vicinity when it’s about time for Darcy to arrive at her desk.

At sharp ten on the dot, Darcy arrives.

At ten oh one, a deathly silence fills the air.

“I will not ask again. Now tell me, who decided to be a jackass and mess up my desk?”

Darcy looks around, her eyes pin points of laser like focus. She looks annoyed and confused and everyone else around looks confused and scared.

Steve turns to Clint with a raised eyebrow of _‘I told you so but you wouldn’t listen, now revel in your own stupidity’._

Clint ignores that and decides to wander over, tugging an unwilling Steve with him.

“Lewis. What happened to your desk?” Clint asks, maintaining a blank expression. For Steve, it is not that easy. Subterfuge is always hard and Steve is not a proponent of it and nor will he be an enthusiastic participant in it. He looks like a baby squirrel died in his arms. Clint nudges him not so subtly.

“I don’t know.” Darcy sounds irritable. On the inside, Clint is just about beginning to die slowly.

“I mean, look at it. It’s like some doped frat boy’s idea of a joke. I had so much stuff that I organized and kept. And now it’s a black hole again. It makes me want to cry.” Darcy’s lips wobble a bit and Clint can see the faint sheen of tears behind her glasses.

Clint’s heart just flat out wilts and dies. Probably, Steve can see something of him shriveling up because he steps in. To save the day.

Clint may or may not have planted one on him later which sparks off a sexual identity crisis for Captain America. It gets resolved though but that’s another story for another day.

“Clint and I can help you clean it up. We’ll also catch the culprit for you.”

Clint nods with a strained smile. This was NOT AT ALL a part of his plan.

“You, Steve are a doll.” Darcy beams and comes around her desk to hug him.

“And so are you Barton.” A beaming smile is sent his way.

Sadly, no hugs for Clint. But that’s okay. He at least got a megawatt smile out of all this nonsense.

;

Clint surreptiously watches Darcy out of the corner of his eye as he organizes a stack of paper and she shuffles through a sheaf of papers.

The shuffling drops a yellow square piece of paper loose. Darcy doesn’t notice. So Clint does something extremely ridiculous.

He snatches the paper from where it had fallen and pockets it. Okay, it’s not ridiculous as much as doing stuff like this that makes him feel ridiculous.

He’s hidden about four notes. One down and three to go. Obviously, he needs a new plan.

He’s able to pocket the next two really easily, just because Steve and Darcy are having a conversation centered around lavender for god knows what reason.

Of course, it is then typical that his luck must run out on the fourth note.

Because it had gotten entangled along with some requisition forms and Darcy’s sorting them out like her life depends on it. Honestly, why did he think mucking up her desk and hiding song lyrics had been a good idea? Was he drunk when he thought of it? And then the night of his grand plan comes back to him. Yes, he had been shit-faced and everything had seemed like a brilliant plan then.

He then notices the innocuous yellow note lying on top of form and Darcy picking it up with a curious look.

“We need a coffee break!” He jumps up and shouts.

Darcy perks up immediately.

“Good idea Barton.” And Clint just smiles at her awkwardly. At least she appreciates something that is a product of his idiotic brain.

Steve though gives him an odd look and he points out the note he swiped back. Steve just sighs, in a pained exasperated manner which as far as he will say _‘I told you so’_ and this one time, Clint can’t help but agree.

All through their coffee break, which Clint pays for because his guilty conscience is working overtime, Clint doesn’t say much. Well, he normally doesn’t say much either so nothing seems amiss. Also, Steve and Darcy seem quite content carrying on a conversation with only occasional input from him so that just gives him ample time to cogitate over what to actually do next.

For the next thirty minutes, Clint cogitates so hard he feels like his brain is going to burst. Also, he’s got nothing to show for all the wheels which turned so furiously in this head that they just might have left trails of fire in their wake.

Darcy waves her hand in front of her face. “I can practically see the wheels turning in your head dude. What’s up? _Spill_.”

Clint blinks. He didn’t think his distraction is obvious.  He’s just about to say that he’s thinking of the best way to find the desk messers and deal with them (heh.) when Steve jumps in and replies for him and shoves everything down the drain.

“Clint’s thinking of how to woo this young lady whom he has a crush on.”

Clint is horrified enough that his normally controlled face falls through and a completely flabbergasted expression shows up on his face.

“Steve!” Clint almost-screeches, sounding like a scandalized old lady.

For a moment Darcy herself looks stunned and Clint kids himself into thinking that she looked disappointed because the expression vanishes like it was never there and instead he’s faced with a grinning beaming Darcy and really, all he would like to do now is go get shit-faced until he can forget this ever happened.

“So, who is she? Tell me. I won’t tell anyone. Pinky swear.” Darcy holds out her pinky and looks appealingly at him, doe eyes fluttering.

“Clint’s too shy.” Steve chips in again. And honestly, when did Steve become Clint’s mouthpiece? Clint wishes he could just clamber over the table and deck him one but he’s sitting with Darcy and there are strict rules to be followed in the cafeteria unfortunately.

“Aw, isn’t that adorable?”

Clint would like to die of shame. Like right now, please.

“Unfortunately, we are kind of stuck on what to do. Any chance you could help us out?” Steve looks beseechingly at Darcy. The moron actually takes her hand in his and does his puppy dog act and of course, Darcy melts like a ton of bricks in the face of it.

Clint now just wants to clobber Captain America to death.

“Of course. I’ll help you out. I bet Clint doesn’t even know how to woo a girl properly.”

“Hey!” Clint snaps out, offended and put out.

“Aw, chill out Barton. With my help, you’ll have this girl falling all over you in no time.”

Clint just looks miserable. Darcy IS the girl. How can she help him get the girl when she’s it? Clint can only see this ending in disaster with Darcy chopping off his balls in the end or doing something equally painful for being such a liar and all around ass.

“So do I now at least get to know who the girl is? Because you know, I’m being awesome and helping you out and little information goes a long way.”

“No.” Clint grinds out. He’s about to stand up and stalk away in a dramatic fit that would look really stupid upon later introspection but thankfully, Coulson comes by and fixes Darcy with a simple raised brow.

“Ahaha. Boss. _Bossman_. So this not me skipping out on filing the leave allocation forms. This is me just getting my coffee and then getting back to work like a good little gopher.”

Coulson just smiles pleasantly at her.

“Got to run. We’re so talking about this later on.” She takes a look at Coulson who’s still standing there patiently.

“All after work Boss. Wouldn’t dream of gossiping on the company’s dime.” She amends before racing off after giving them a cheeky wave and blowing Coulson a kiss which strangely enough makes him turn a light pink.

“Gentlemen.” Coulson nods before setting off to wherever he was going too and Clint takes a few seconds to count to ten before he skins Steve alive.

“Now, before you kill me, let just me tell you what I figured out,” Steve shoots out, raising placating hands.

“Killing will be too kind for you,” Clint mutters, feeling a tad homicidal. “Jesus fucking Christ, what were you thinking you moron?”

“I was thinking if she came up with the plans to woo the lady who is essentially her own self, then maybe you can lose the tortured Romeo act and actually make a go of a relationship. I mean, it not like you had the plan of the century worked out. Unless you did, in which case, please do share.” Steve is as dry and deadpan as he can get, and while he’s capable of sarcasm, it’s not something he usually uses so when he does, it stings twice as much.

“ _Oh_. But I’m still going to be mad at you because that was the bro code. You simply do not pull shit like that. Not at least without a heads-up.”

“I’m sorry.” Steve looks contrite and Clint reminds himself that Steve only ever does everything out the goodness of his heart and anyway, at this rate, thanks to Steve’s new plan, he’ll get to spend a lot more time with Darcy. Also, maybe the bro-code was a little different during his day? Either way, Steve is one of the people Clint finds very hard to stay mad at for long. It’s not that he’s made of mush or anything, hell no but in many ways, he and Steve are pretty similar. They are both men of action, not of words though clearly, Steve is blessed in the ladies department cause no one seems to fall all over Clint like they do on Steve but yeah, point being, he and Steve are bros. Though Steve might need to be updated on the recent changes in the code.

“It’s okay. Fuck it. It’s a much better plan than what I would have come up with anyways.”

“Thank you. I just wanted to help you. You’ve been mooning for so long and I wanted to do something.”

Clint just punches him in the arm and grins before dragging Steve off to meet Natasha. They are going out for lunch. More importantly, Steve and Natasha will be going out for lunch because she would like to spend some time with Steve watching him blush. Clint is just going along for the ride and also so that he can tease Natasha mercilessly.

And just for the record, Clint was mooning about his feelings for Darcy. Mooning is for cows he thinks. Nor was he pining. He was just being stoic about it like a manly man would.

;

As Steve and Natasha blush and simper at each other – and really, Natasha can blush and simper. She just needs the perfect man to set it off. A.K.A Captain America. It doesn’t get more perfect than that. So yes, as Clint watches Steve and Natasha and throws up a little in his mouth cause honestly, he will stab himself before he gushes like that, when he has the most brilliant of ideas.

It’s like the Sherlock Holmes of all ideas. The most brilliant of ideas that ever lived.

The idea is this.

Steve has put him in a bit of a tight spot. Even though what he said to Darcy was out of the goodness of his heart, on further introspection, Clint doesn’t really see that plan going through even though he thought it would at first. Firstly, Darcy is smart enough that she will catch on early on that she’s the target and there are two ways that could play out.

One, Darcy is flattered and hopefully reciprocative and Clint is a happy man.

Two, Darcy is amazed by the stupidity, unimpressed by the originality and Clint is an unhappy lonely man.

Steve will not suffer from the fallout of this because he’s Steve and Darcy’s got a soft spot the size of a black hole for him and she may be angry with him for awhile but eventually he will be forgiven. On the other hand, she will be supremely unimpressed by Clint and will never give him the time of day ever again. Clint has no immunity in this once foolproof plan which is beginning to have a lot of holes, something Clint notes with some amount of petty satisfaction.

Wait _that_ was a deconstruction of the earlier plan.

The actual idea is _this_.

Clint is going to accost Darcy today and completely turn the tables. He’s going to tell her Steve was actually talking about himself, that the lady he likes is Natasha but he’s too shy to do anything but he needed some help and that’s why he approached Darcy and said it as if Clint is the one who is crushing on someone. It is because he’s insecure of what the end result might be that he mentioned Clint instead and Clint took that fall because he’s a good little soldier and that’s what friends do for other friends.

But Clint would actually like to help him, that’s why he’s approaching Darcy like this because Steve would never agree to this.

He will pull the friendship card and get on his knees and beg if he has too. Hopefully, the romantic in Darcy will agree and that way, Clint can kill two birds.

One, he can be a good friend and help out Steve because clearly, the man is a little lost and lonely and needs someone to call his own; two, he can spend some time with Darcy, without pulling stupid stunts to get her attention. Things can take their natural course and if it works out, all well and good and if doesn’t, well Clint will just have to solider on like nothing ever happened and then he can go back home and cry into a gallon of ice-cream and drown himself in alcohol.

Sounds like a plan.

And a damn good one at that.

He takes a look at Steve and Natasha. They still have the mutual appreciation thing going on. Clint going to hurl everything now.

“You two are nauseous,” he grumbles, rising from the table.

Predictably, they don’t even pay any attention to him.

;

Cornering Darcy is the easy part. Her tendency to walk around everywhere with her I-pod buds jammed into her ears means that most of the time, she’s lost in her own world.

So Clint hides out in the supply room and just as she’s passing by, singing cheerfully and out of tune, he simple sticks out an arm and pulls her in. Startled Darcy immediately aims a punch at him wildly, which Clint parries deftly but what he does not count on is also getting kneed in the balls.

“Muthaf—“

He goes down like a ton of bricks hands cradling his groin. Darcy gave that knee her all, sparing no expense in the department of force and velocity. Nothing hurts like a bitch than a swift and well placed kick to a sensitive area.

“ Ohmygawd. Clint. Fuck. I’m so sorry!” Darcy cries out hysterically, ear buds now swinging around her face as she kneels down next to him looking horrified.

Clint wants to re-assure her. It’s okay. She did the right thing. He could have just approached her normally. He had no business trying to behave like terrible ninja. He would be able to tell her all of this if his balls weren’t vibrating with pain.

“Say something!”

“Nnngghhh.”

“I want words! No angrish! I mean, you are allowed to be angry but say something!”

“Hurts like a mother.” Clint manages to grind out with much difficulty. Honestly, was her kneecap packing some sort of solid steel or something? It’s not like he hasn’t taken one down there before. But he could somehow manage and grit his teeth and move the fuck on.

Except for now. Time for him to man up and get the fuck up and behave like nothing ever happened.

Clint gets up with some difficulty, his knees knocking inward with a phantom instinct to protect the cojones should another attack come its way.

Darcy is eyeing him with a skeptical look.

“Look, I know, I kicked you right in the family jewels and I’m really sorry cause I know men’s ego’s also rest right there and getting kicked there is just not cool but honestly if you hadn’t snatched me in like a creeper and given me a mini heart-attack, we wouldn’t be having this issue right now and you wouldn’t be moaning right now.”

She’s also giving him the severe stink eye. “Honestly, you must thank you guardian angel that I didn’t wear my pumps today and instead decided to wear wedges. I tend to grind attackers in the groin area. You are so lucky mister.”

Clint gives her a bemused look. He’s the one injured but there’s been nary a peep out of him. Probably because it’s really hard to get a word edgewise in with Darcy when’s going ahead full steam. But yes. He is thankful there being no pointy heels. Those motherfuckers are dangerous.

“You are violent. Unhealthily so.”

“Hey, it’s a violent world. A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do to survive.”

Clint raises an eyebrow. Somehow he gets the feeling that Darcy enjoys inflicting violence. Coulson did mention that she used her taser with far too much efficiency and glee.

“So, can I get you some ice for that?” She grins and Clint immediately sees where her mind is going.

“No thank you,” he manages politely. “I’m gonna take like a man.”

“You mean cry later on when you’re alone.”

Clint looks uncomfortable. “Sort of.”

Darcy grins and okay, Clint’s feeling a little mushy now. Like maybe his heart is skipping in little steps.

“So what’s all this about? Why the secrecy in the supply closet?”

So Clint tells her with many interruptions from Darcy until he finally pinches her lips shut and carries on saying what he has to. When he’s finally done, he lets go of Darcy’s lips.

She immediately scrubs at her lips.

“THOSE FINGERS WERE ON YOUR CROTCH. OH MY GOD I WILL HAVE TO DISINFECT MY LIPS.”

Wow. Clint knows Darcy is loud but he’s surprised at the volume of her voice. It makes him think of other thinks that involve screaming. Rapturously of course.

Clint clamps a hand over her mouth.

“You make me sound like some skeevy sex offender.”

“Maybe you are,” Darcy shoots back from under his hand which she licks and he immediately drops as if he were burnt.

“Also, how can I trust you? Jumper of the innocent and molester of the hapless.”

“You are hardly hapless Darcy,” Clint informs her dryly. “And you have to just trust here. Go with your instincts and find it in your heart to help a friend. I know you have to look deep, because your heart is shriveled stone but find yourself and help a friend. Steve can’t know of this though.”

“Low blow Clint. LOW BLOW. Also, when you sell it like a Lifetime movie I’m less inclined to buy. However because I’m a magnanimous girl, I shall condescend to help you and play Cupid.”

“The day you choose to take over the world, that’s the day I fear the most. So we shake on it and your silence?”

Darcy grins and shakes the hand he holds out firmly.

“Also, know that you know my plan for world domination, I will have to kill you.”

Clint stares for a second at Darcy’s completely serious face. Which then cracks.

“Got you.”

He grins and they head out of the door.

“Or not,” she whispers in his ear before sauntering off, throwing him a jaunty wave, hips swinging in the tight pencil skirts which she has come to favour which Clint can only fervently thank the Gods above for because Darcy Lewis in ruffled blouses with tight pencil skirts and sky high heels is all he ever wanted.

Clint smiles like a fool. Darcy Lewis will one day be the death of him and honestly, he can’t think of a better way to go.

;

The next day, Clint walks with a slight skip in his step.

He hands in all the paperwork he’s required to fill out as a member of S.H.I.E.L.D and The Avengers initiative to both Coulson and Maria with grin on his face.

Maria gives him an odd look and Coulson merely narrows his eyes.

Apparently news travels because Steve corners him in the studio where he’s doing yoga and demands to know what happened.

“Nothing,” Clint replies from his upside down lotus pose.

“You don’t hand in paper work with a smile! You hate paperwork. You always try to palm off your paperwork on me! Did Darcy say anything? Tell me?” Steve stops short of literally whining.

“This isn’t some girly gossip fest okay? There are no ovaries in sight here.” Clint tells him firmly, slowly coming out of the pose.

“But yes, I did get to talk to her and we’re just going to hang out. Like friends. Who work in the same office.”

“Hang where?” Steve questions, confused.

“Sorry, I mean, go out together, have a coffee or grab a bite.”

“You mean a date?” Steve still looks confused.

“No. Just you know? I don’t know to explain it!” Clint himself feels confused now.

“I know. I was just kidding.” Steve looks pleased. Like a smug sort of pleased. Clint grumbles and locks his legs around Steve’s feet and tumbles him.

He then gets up himself and crosses over Steve who’s still lying on the mat.

“You may want to take a shower. After this, we’re going to meet Darcy so I outline the first phase of my plan.”

It’s a good thing that Steve cannot see him because Clint chokes a little. Steve has a plan to set him up with Darcy. Probably cause Steve was a good boy and did his homework yesterday night unlike Clint who spent a lot of time doing er…other stuff. The fact of the matter is, Clint needs to text Darcy and give her heads up and more importantly, he needs to work on a plan where it seems like he’s setting Steve up but also gives him and Darcy and opportunity to go out.

God, he’s getting slightly confused. There are two competing plans and he kind of feels bad that he’s setting up Steve without his knowledge. It feels like betrayal. Yesterday’s idea doesn’t seem very brilliant anymore.

Because Clint knows that he isn’t the type of person used to spinning stuff around in circles. That’s more Loki’s area and lord knows he isn’t Loki. And also Loki always seems confident of his plans, regardless of what they are unlike Clint who is second and third guessing himself like crazy.

Fuck all this shit. Obviously, he’s going to have to come clean. Firstly he’ll have to tell Steve.

And then Darcy.

Clint sighs deeply and turns back. For once he wants a brain that can scheme with the best of them.

;

Clint tells Steve everything.

Steve stares back at him with wide blue eyes. Clint’s starting to feel a whole lot like a dick.

“Granted yours was the better plan but I was so nervous that it wouldn’t end well and then it would have all gone to shit. At that time it felt so fucking brilliant. Now it just makes me feel like ass. I swear Steve, I didn’t throw in your name because it was the first one that popped up. I was watching you and Natasha during lunch and it’s clear you’ve got it bad for her and man, I want you to be happy.”

Steve is still looking at him with these now impossibly sad eyes.

“I understand if you don’t want us to talk anymore.” Clint says grimly. When you look at it from the surface, the issue doesn’t seem big. Really. But once you get down to the nitty gritties of it, it becomes one complex lie after another.

Clint gets up to leave.

“I understand Clint.” Steve calls out behind him. Clint turns around. “Your heart was in the right place and I can understand that. To be honest, it was easier to focus on you because I was scared of what could happen if I tried something new. I don’t have a very good track record with romance. “Steve smiles ruefully.

“Maybe instead of hiding and wooing, we both need to be brave and just say it. Got nothing to lose but pride. And we’ll bounce back. Or hide out someplace till it blows over. “

Clint cracks a grin at and Steve smiles at him.

“Bros till the end?” Steve sounds so awkward saying but the sincerity behind it is heartfelt.

“Till the end.” Clint smiles at him and moves forward to clasp him in a one armed hug. Feelings quota for the day filled.

“Now we’re gonna go to our respective ladies and say what we have to say. We were soldiers once. This is nothing.” Clint would be kidding if he said he believed the last part. Death always seems more preferable than getting rejected by someone who could possibly be the love of your life.

It’s therefore comforting that Steve doesn’t look all that brave either. Still, they set off bravely promising to let each other know no matter what the end result.

;

Clint finds Darcy at her table, busily typing up reports on the computer.

“I’ve got something to say.”

Darcy looks at him with her glasses pushed down low on her nose. It makes him feel like a single celled organism.

“And it can’t wait?” Darcy looks distracted already, pushing up her glasses and biting at her lips as she tallies figures. Clint doesn’t want to kiss her at all right. Nope. He doesn’t.

“No. It’s important.” He might want to flee but he has to stand his ground.

Darcy sighs and auto saves before turning around to face him. Clint kneels to be on level with her.

“I like you.” There. He said it.

“Well, good for you. I like you too.” Darcy says dryly.

Clint sighs. “I like you in the romantic sense. As in, I would like to date you, really kiss you even though you are not conducive to my well being and you keep me up at nights being gorgeous as fuck and all. And you may or may not be an evil world dominating villain in the making. So yeah. I like you. LIKE like you.”

Darcy looks amused. Clint’s heart is beating faster than it ever has. He makes sure to look even and calm though.

He carries on. “The desk messer, that was me. I wanted to ‘woo’ you cause I didn’t have the balls to come and tell you outright. I’d hidden notes with lyrics on them, wanting to do some kind of secret admirer shit except Steve quickly burst that bubble and said that messing a girl’s desk isn’t the right way to woo her. The woman who Steve said I liked, that was actually you. Steve figured it would be easier to woo you if we knew what you liked. But then I went and turned that around cause I thought you’d chop off my nuts if you knew the bullshit we were spinning. So I came and told you about Steve and Natasha. But then my conscience grew some balls. So I confessed to Steve. And I’m confessing to you.”

“You are one devious motherfucker.” Darcy says, grinning. Clint looks agreeably surprised. Him devious? This is high praise coming from Darcy.

“And you are also stupid. I don’t actually have a dress code to follow. If I want, I could come in my pajamas as long as the work gets done. Coulson’s cool like that. But no... I wear all this classy sexy secretary stuff hoping I at least get some of your attention but you are just busy being ripped and hot all the time to notice. I mean, you cannot have missed me drooling over your arms each time I saw you in costume. Also, I maybe an evil villain in the making but I’m not doing any ball chopping. I’m squeamish about shit like that.” Darcy levels him with an actually sweet smile.

“Really, I am not that badass. Or mean. I just have a mouthy attitude and poor sense of self-preservation. But if you think of me as badass, hey, far be it from me to stop you.”

It’s a testament to Clint’s training that he doesn’t keel over. He does feel an unholy squeal of joy making its way up. He squashes that in favour of a more manly ‘aw shucks’ thing.

“I thought maybe you were looking at Steve.” Clint says sheepishly. “Also, believe me. I noticed. A LOT.” Clint shoots her a wicked look that makes a blush bloom along Darcy’s cheeks.

“Yes, I know you can be all sex on legs when you want to.” The blushing still doesn’t stop. In fact, Darcy seems to be looking at a spot over his shoulders. Clint feels fucking awesome.

“But that doesn’t change the fact that you are a moron. Steve is a doll. But honestly, if he had to deal with me 24/7 he would cry.” Darcy tells him patiently. “And only your pea sized brain would try to woo a girl by messing with her desk. Lucky for you, I’m smarter and I fell for you first.”

They are close enough that they can almost share a kiss. Sure, the whole office is still there but Clint doubts they will look. Unless they want to incur the wrath of Darcy.

“Lucky me indeed,” he murmurs, leaning forward just enough to brush the barest of kisses against her lips. A taste of what is to come.

And then he leans back, grinning because there is Darcy still leaning a little ahead looking a little cross-eyed.

“More of that later on mister,” she tells him, wagging a finger all severe like.

“Now this Steve Natasha business…”

Ah, that.

Another story for another day.

 

 


End file.
